Jeremy Britton
7 min readMay 10, 2024

Friends don’t let friends get mono…

two Boston terrier dogs kissing

May 2024

Friends: don’t let your friends get mono

Mono is bad: Type one. Sometimes your friend kisses the wrong person at a weak moment. Mononucleosis is characterised by fatigue, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes, and fever. It spreads through saliva, hence its nickname “the kissing disease.”

The good news: While mono from kissing can lead to a permanently enlarged spleen or liver, most cases get better on their own with rest and plenty of fluids.

Mono is bad: type two. Sometimes, your friend gets monofocused on that new pyramid scheme. They buy all their food and supplements online for twice the price from the latest multi-level marketing health company. They call everyone they have known since high school to tell them about the new “business opportunity.” Eventually, the victims recover, but they can lose all their money, all their credibility, and sometimes, all their friends.

The good news: Wikipedia advises that one-third of 1% of people make a living in MLM, whilst the other 99.7% can use therapy or religion to slowly recover their shattered lives.

Mono is bad: type three. Sometimes your friend gets sucked in by the shiny new investment ticker they saw on Jim Cramer, Youtube or TikTok. For example, Theranos rose from nothing to a $1 billion unicorn in 2011. It became a $9 billion behemoth in 2014 and, four years later, was worth zero. This is why the world’s greatest investors always stress diversification: don’t put all your eggs into one basket.

The good news: you don’t need to be a genius multi-tasker to have a diversified investment portfolio. There are big companies that get paid to monitor and analyse different investments for you. You can have a portfolio of 20–30 different investments, and you just pay someone 2% per year to look after it all.

We do not wish to cast aspersions on multi-billion dollar investment companies with ten thousand lawyers on retainer, so we will just ask the question: why do companies that made billions from diversification, now want you to get mono?

Blackrock made several fortunes over the last 40 years by offering clients diversified investment portfolios. Their latest offering is a fund that invests 100% in Bitcoin. We will be the first to say that there is nothing inherently wrong with Bitcoin. However, there is an issue with putting all your eggs into one basket. Bitcoin can easily drop by 50% or more; when that happens, you want to have some other eggs.

Aside from failing the diversification test, there is absolutely no way for the monofunds to outperform Bitcoin.

Why would you pay someone 2% to look after just one single asset?

Bitcoin is big, but the alternative crypto market (alt-coins) is thousands of tokens worth collectively over $1 Trillion. Why would you want to miss out on that?

Perhaps it is a fitting coincidence that the largest offerings of monofunds come from companies that sound like they could all be one colour: Blackrock, Grayscale and Monochrome.

There does not seem to be anyone called “the rainbow fund”, but for those who like to practice diversification, there are a few choices of crypto funds with more than just one asset.

It’s nice to have options, just sayin…

Polychain capital: The good: they invest into a wide variety of blockchain and crypto projects, which means that when Bitcoin drops, you will have other things that may go up.

The bad: minimum investment is $1 million, and you cannot contact them unless you know someone who works there. Performance figures are unknown or unpublished.

Pantera Capital: The good: They have a few funds that invest in blockchain and crypto. The minimum investment is a little more reasonable at $100 000.

The bad: Assets in the Liquid Token Fund seem to be surprisingly illiquid. Fund redemption is quarterly, with 65 days written notice, so if you want your money back, you are going to have to wait a while.

Bitwise Investments: The good: slightly more diversified with ten coins in the portfolio.

The bad: Bitcoin is around 70% of the fund and ETH a little over 20%, so there is less than 10% of the Bitwise portfolio to spread amongst the other eight coins. The fund has less than half of 1% in LINK or MATIC. Fund performance from Nov 2017 to March 2024 has been 376% versus Bitcoin’s 652%. Management fee is at the higher end; 2.5% per year.

Woodstock Fund: In contrast to the monofunds with their boring black or grey monochromatic names, the Woodstock fund makes us think of hippies, free love, flower power and more. The good: their diversified portfolio is disclosed on their site.

The bad: the diversified portfolio is notably without breakdowns. Do they have 10% in BAND protocol or one-tenth of 1%? We don’t know.

The suspicious: no performance figures are disclosed at all. Not on their site, not on anywhere we could find. An independent blockchain checker claims that Woodstock has only made one winning investment in the last twelve months, ironically named “Bware”. The Woodstock fund is domiciled in the notorious Cayman Islands.

Apollo Capital: Perhaps named after the Greek god of archery or possibly named for the NASA space program, and boldly going where very few fund managers have gone before: to crypto, and beyond!

The good: Apollo has three crypto-related or crypto-adjacent funds. The bad: we are unable to find out any information on performance.

The suspicious: One Apollo fund is based in the Cayman Islands, and one is based in the British Virgin Islands. Make of that what you will.

Boston Trading Co: The fund is named after the cutest Boston terriers you will ever meet. The dogs do not bite, but the puppy puns in the newsletter may make you groan.

The good: The world’s first diversified crypto fund. The first crypto fund to be listed on Morningstar. Fund holdings can be seen live on the website and are updated hourly. Fund performance is updated monthly on Morningstar, the website, and the free newsletter. The flagship BOS fund has outperformed Bitcoin for eight of the last nine years. The new DART fund returned 302% in the last twelve months. The funds are domiciled in the USA, in Delaware and Wyoming.

The bad: did we mention the dog puns? As a comedian, the CFO is great at compiling spreadsheets 😊

Nothing in life is guaranteed. The stock market could crash, property prices can plummet, wars can break out and you may get a mono outbreak. As with any investment, it is important to Diversify, Do Your Own Research and only invest what you can afford to lose. Stay safe.

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How did we go this month?

There were some nice returns in the Bostoncoin fund, notably

Solana up 579%

Arweave up 460%

Kaspa up 405%

Injective up 301%

For those playing DIY at home, many of these coins were profiled several months ago or some years ago at www.Cryllionaire.com

As at April 30 2024

BOS Price AUD 83.4143771

BOS price USD 54.5191997

This month’s result brings Bostoncoin up 60.4% for the last twelve months. The fund is still down from the 2022 highs (before the FTX fiasco), but the BOS fund is still up 361% for the last four years. These results demonstrate that crypto is not a sprint but a marathon. Hang in there, puppies.

The DARTcoin fund shone bright this month, with some standout performances from

Akash up 1551%

Pendle up 1013%

Thorchain up 379%

Stacks up 343%

As at April 30 2024

DART Price AUD 232.391376

DART Price USD 151.87145

This month’s results put the DART fund up 211% for the last twelve months, but still down from where it was in the 2022 highs (damn you, SBF!). We would like another one or two years of bull market conditions, and then we can forget all about the nasty 2022 shenanigans.

Remember to ignore the daily news and watch the yearly charts. We are here for the long haul. Next year will be the tenth year for the Bostoncoin fund (four years for the DART fund). We look forward to celebrating with you and all the other investors, the puppy pack and their families. Tell your friends: the only way to get to the after-party is to get involved before the invites roll out. Subscribe to the Bostoncoin newsletter, or join the Cryllionaire list while it’s still free.

See you next month

JB

Jeremy Britton

24HourWealthCoach, balancing business and lifestyle. Health, Relationships, Happiness, and a bag of gold (or puppies) :)